photo credit: Michael Brownlee

How you think about yourself makes a big difference in how you feel. You can avoid feeling down or upset if you know what to say to yourself and how to say it. Even during difficult times, you can find moments of joy and blessings to talk to yourself about.

No matter what you want to do in life, self-talk can help you accomplish your dreams, goals, and desires. Believing in yourself is a strong component of moving forward into the life you really want and deserve. Positive self-talk can bring you this belief and instill within you the confidence to succeed.

Discover the Beauty in Your Life

When you face serious challenges in your life, being unhappy and speaking negatively to yourself won’t change anything for the better. Instead, seek out joy in positive affirmations of your continued worth.

The problems you may be facing have absolutely nothing to do with your value as a human being. Remind yourself of your great value!

Positive self-talk is not about being unrealistic or lying to yourself. It’s about seeing the beauty and value in yourself and others. Each one of us has something we can give and we each have a purpose and a reason to be here.

Using Positive Self-Talk Each Day

How do you take advantage of positive self-talk? When it comes to talking to yourself, there are no specific rules. You can focus on anything about you or your surroundings that’s positive.

Avoid letting negative or upsetting thoughts creep in. Things might not be going your way at any particular moment, but there are better days ahead, and the fact that you’re alive is something to be positive about!

Here are some tips to help you get started using positive self-talk to bring about a joyful, fulfilled life:

1. Remember something others like about you. Recall a positive comment someone made about you in the past. Even if you don’t see the reason for the compliment, someone else obviously did. Use that to your advantage to remind yourself of your great qualities and talents.
2. What do you like about yourself? Start small, if you prefer. You don’t have to think or feel (or say) that you’re perfect, but pick one thing that you like about yourself, or that you can accept about yourself, and be pleased with that.
3. Speak out loud. Sure, you might feel a little silly at first. You don’t have to do it when anyone else is around, but say your affirmations aloud whenever you can. That way you hear the good things about you, too.
4. Set aside time to practice your positive self-talk. If you don’t put it into your schedule, it’s easy to forget about it or decide that you’ll get to it later. Make it a priority, so it becomes a part of your daily routine.

The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

The benefits you’ll get from positive self-talk will depend on your commitment to it. If you practice it each day, it’ll become second nature to you. When others say negative things, it’ll be less likely to take root in your mind, since you’ll already be filled with positive information about your worth.

Regardless of what stage of life you’re in, there’s always room for more happiness. Even in the face of despair, there are opportunities for great joy and growth. Avoid missing out on those opportunities because you don’t see your worth as a person. Instead, you can expect the best because of your positive self-talk.

Positive self-talk can help you rise higher in your career, family life, spiritual life, and any other area that matters to you. Friends and family members will notice your new-found confidence, and so will your co-workers, boss, and others. You just may find that positive self-talk leads you to some amazing new opportunities!

Loving someone unconditionally can be hard to do and goes against the grain you were probably taught in today’s Western society. Society tells you to get even or get revenge. However, to love unconditionally requires forgiveness and letting go of the wrongs.

So How Do You Love Unconditionally?

What’s required to show someone unconditional love when you’re in a relationship? Being there physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, through thick and thin, no matter what may happen is unconditional love.

• Physically: Being “there” for someone physically means just what the word implies. You’re there for them in person, standing by their side, listening to them, or talking with them so they’re not alone. This may be at three in the afternoon, or three in the morning!

• Emotionally: When you’re with someone emotionally, you’re offering your support by allowing them to honestly and openly express their feeling. Supporting someone emotionally with unconditional love also means that you’re there selflessly to help them work through their feelings. The goal is for the person to rise above the negative emotions and turn them into positive ones. You’re the shoulder to cry on!

• Mentally: Supporting a loved one mentally means that you help them think through their actions, motives, and desires. You help them do this by finding out what’s going on inside. To support someone mentally requires you to help your loved one process their thoughts through to all possible outcomes.
  

• Spiritually: Spiritually supporting a loved one means you pray for and with them and help them grow in all aspects of their life – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Often spiritual support is given without a person being aware, through prayer.

Unconditional love does not mean, however, giving into every whim or desire. Often people confuse unconditional love with spoiling. Giving into a person’s every want or desire when it isn’t appropriate can actually harm their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being. For example, giving into your kid’s demands for junk food may make them happy today, but it isn’t a good source of nourishment in the long run.

Letting Go

True love is shown when you try to help another become a better person and unconditional love is shown when you still love them even if they refuse to change.

Many times it’s necessary to “let go” of a loved one, while still loving them unconditionally, because they refuse to take the necessary steps to improve. An example of this would be an alcoholic or drug addict. You still love the person, but when they refuse to work at overcoming their addiction or don’t care about themselves or who they’re hurting, you must let go. Sometimes this means, letting them spiral down until they hit rock bottom. Often you get hurt in the process because you love them and don’t want to see them go down this road, so loving unconditionally also means that you’ll be there for them when they’re ready to try again.

Love isn’t an emotion or feeling – it’s a choice. This is especially true with unconditional love. In relationships, you show unconditional love by overlooking petty mistakes and forgoing judgment and grudges. Unconditional love requires self-sacrifice and forgiveness on your part and it’s through unconditional love that those you care about will change for the better.

My deadlines are important to me and with careful planning I am able to achieve anything I set my mind to. I plan ahead to ensure I am at my best in order to become the success that I deserve.

I make plans to achieve my goals without stress. When I do this, I confidently and calmly meet my aspirations.

When I create an effective plan that helps me meet my deadlines, goals and desires in life, I am able to accomplish more with ease. I enjoy the success I create for myself.

Visualizing my goals with their deadlines helps me create a solid plan of action. I also leave wiggle room for unexpected changes in case things come up. This allows me to accept little bumps along the way without losing sight of where I am meant to be.

I enjoy the relaxed feelings I have when those little bumps come up because I have left room for them in my plans. In turn, I enjoy my journey along the way and I celebrate my success when I reach the finish line victoriously.

Today, I carefully construct my plans and remember to leave myself some wiggle room. By doing this, I can meet my deadlines no matter what obstacle may arise in my path. I can enjoy my journey and feel the satisfaction of success.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Have I planned ahead to meet my deadlines?
2. Have I allowed wiggle room in my plans?
3. Can I take delays in stride because I have planned for such possibilities?

What’s more, those working so hard to make money are making money; they’re just not keeping it, or using it for the things they desire. “But I have bills. I have needs that must be met before I can spend on my desires,” the argument goes. The typical conclusion? “I simply need to make more.” So how do we make money to meet our needs and fulfill our desires?

Focus on the desire. One of the fundamental keys to attracting money into your life is, rather than focusing on the money, focus instead on what it is you want that money to help you do or have.

We already focus on money and work and meeting our needs, and look what happens. The Law of Attraction brings us money and work and meets our needs (we eat, we have shelter, and we’re not dead yet). Focus on that which we desire and the Law of Attraction will also bring us the means to attain it. It’s not an either/or situation; not in this universe, it isn’t.

On a spiritual level it can be argued that the only reason you don’t have the money for what you want yet is because either you haven’t seen yourself as having that desire fulfilled or you haven’t brought yourself into energetic alignment with its happening. Either that or you already do have the money for what you want here and now and your vision is just too clouded for you to see it.

Fear of scarcity and lack cloud our ability to recognize our current state of abundance. We’re so afraid of losing what we have or of not having enough for what we need that we cling to whatever we do have; we horde. This keeps us cut off from the free flow of infinite abundance that is our natural state. Our focus on scarcity and lack creates more scarcity and lack. Our focus on the little we do have keeps us having little.

Despite common misunderstanding, “Money is the root of all evil,” is not how the saying goes; it’s actually: “The love of money is the root of all evil.” Money is just a means to an end. Fixating on the means rather than the end is the error. That just keeps you locked in a vicious and exhausting cycle of pursuing endless means. The ‘end’ is just your current desires. Are your desires evil? If you judge them to be so, then it’s your desires you may need to change. But chances are you don’t think your desires are evil. Removing the stigma you may have about money is a invaluable step in allowing money to pass through your hands.

Everything is in motion. Like water, like breath, like time – everything flows. Disengaging from the flow is the way to create and perpetuate and reinforce the illusion of scarcity and lack. Engaging in the flow is the way to attract affluence.

You may have gone through some rough times in your life making it difficult to be the happy person you want to be. Maybe you even suffer from a lack of self-confidence because of past conflicts and pains. No matter what you’ve been through, you can choose to overcome these obstacles.

It’s time to be your own Number 1 fan and there’s no better time to start than right now!

1. 1. Gain more confidence in yourself by facing your fears.

• Fear of failure may have caused you to ignore your dreams, desires or goals. Don’t let fear stop you from getting what you want and achieving your goals. If Thomas Edison had been afraid of failure, we wouldn’t have the luxury of indoor lighting today. He never gave up trying to find the right way to make a light bulb and he experienced over 10,000 ways of how not to make a light bulb. Just because you don’t reach your goals or dreams the first time, don’t give up. Keep trying until you succeed.

• Fear of being alone may stop you from going away to school or moving to a new city where you can pursue your dreams. Realize that you will make new friends and that you’re current friends will always be there. Now with the Internet, staying in touch with your friends and family is easier and more convenient than ever.

• Once you begin facing your fears, you’ll discover that what you feared may not be such a big deal after all. But, you’ll never know until you start.

1. 2. Self-talk can also determine whether you believe in yourself or not.

• Do you often say negative things like, “I’m an idiot,” or “That was a dumb thing to do,” or “I’m ugly?” How you perceive yourself comes out in what you say. However, what you say to yourself can also change how you see yourself.

• Start speaking positively to yourself, about yourself. When you’re getting ready for the day, while looking in the mirror, point out positive characteristics about yourself and say them out loud. Phrases such as:
  • “I am an attractive person.”
  • “I am a good parent.”
  • “I am a hard worker.”
  • “I love myself.”
  • “I like how I look in these clothes.”
  • “I am brilliant.”
  • Even if you don’t believe it, say it! You’ll soon realize these things really are true. You can also post positive quotes or scriptures where you would see them several times a day to keep your spirits high.

1. 3. Insecurity can be a source of disbelief. Learning to be more secure in certain areas of your life will help you believe in yourself more, plus others will begin to believe in you as well.

1. 4. There may be certain areas in your life that you feel you need to work on, so work on them!

• Are you bad at financial management? Take a class to help you learn how to budget so you can be in control of your money, instead of your money controlling you.

• Are you a slow reader? Take a speed-reading class or get a tutor to help you build speed.
• Do you find it challenging to speak in public? Take a public speaking course or become an intern for an organization where you must speak in public.

• Is your weight stopping you from believing yourself? First of all, remember that today’s society has a skewed view of beauty. Don’t allow the media to determine your worth! However, if your weight is at an unhealthy level, learn how to eat healthy and get regular exercise to take some weight off.

No matter what’s stopping you from believing in yourself, there’s a way to overcome it. You’ll first need to figure out what’s causing your self-doubt. Is it fear, insecurity, mental attitudes, or something else? Only then can you face the obstacle and overcome it.

Building rock-solid friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty and it can’t happen overnight.

Most people have rock-solid friendships with only a couple of people or a handful at the most. The truth is a friendship is about quality, not quantity. Yes, you can have several friends, but most are merely casual friendships and don’t have that deep inner connection.

A good example of this is Jesus. He had 12 disciples, but only three were considered as his closest companions, Peter, James, and John. Jesus had companionship with all 12, but only three were truly close to him, like a best friend.

The Friendly Sacrifice

Being a true friend also requires sacrifice. In a rock-solid friendship, we may be asked to give up our desires for our friend’s needs. Our friend may need us when it’s not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night. In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night’s sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend. But that’s what friends do!

Give and Take

In a rock-solid friendship, there is both give and take. There are mutual feelings between the parties and it’s never one-sided. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflicts because we’re human, after all. However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don’t last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.

• Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.
• Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out – knowing where they’re coming from and knowing what they’re going through.
• Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.

When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the parties are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.

How to Connect With a New Friend

You may have stumbled upon someone new by chance or through friends and if there is enough common interest, you may decide to meet again. Sounds pretty obvious, right?

With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens. Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other. The key here is that it can’t happen overnight. If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so go at a smooth and steady pace.

Showing Your True Colors

As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life. However, it’s in the difficult times that a person’s true colors are revealed. When you’re going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

Friends Help Friends Grow

True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you’re in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust. Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.